“There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happened”. – Tommy Lasorda
Kind of true for life as well, no?
Coaching baseball for over a decade, one of the first things I would tell the boys was, “a coach isn’t any better than you, they can just see what you’re doing in a way you will never be able to.”
Clients, just like ball players, are so close to their situations and personal histories, that seeking the truth accurately may be difficult.
If you need to hang a picture and have a nail in your hand, you can pound it in with a hammer. You could also pound it in with the side of a wrench, a brick, or your head for that matter. All a coach does is give you tools for your toolbox, it’s up to you to decide how to most effectively complete the task at hand.
It’s likely, if you’ve ever had a coach, it’s different from any other relationship in your life. Certainly different from a work mentor, a therapist, or a partner or loved one.
The mentor, the partner and the loved one, all have “skin in the game”. What you do will affect them in some way, either at work or at home. A therapist typically focuses on the past – past traumas and hurt, past stories you repeatedly tell yourself. A coach focuses on the now, the future.
As for partners and loved ones… they are often your worst source of reliable advice (gasp!). To be clear, it’s not because they have ill-intent or they don’t love you, it’s because they are afraid of being left behind. This applies to all of us.
Think about a best friend from your past who was given the option to move for work. You want what’s best for your friend, but you also don’t want to lose them. These are basic human emotions. So your advice, however well intentioned, will almost always skew one way or another.
It’s also important to note that this doesn’t just apply to successes, even if you are striving, there is contrast in that.
So the question is…who is giving you the tools for your toolbox?
See you on the journey…