Give Me Your Why

Greetings from Swans Island, Maine! 

In June, I graduated from Brown University’s ACT Program for Professional Coaches… attaining my ICF designation. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time and the timing couldn’t have been better as I begin to transition many other areas of my life both personal and professional…(posts for another day to be sure – we have a lot to catch up on!). 

After winding down 20 years in the building and real estate worlds with the sale of my last business… people ask what I’m doing now… a common question… and one to which, currently, I have no answer. In fact… I talk about that at length in a recent podcast interview with author Christopher Veal. Pop by and check it out if you have time.

What I can assure you of however, is that the answer will never be “life coach”. 

What I have done…formally for the last 8 months working with around a dozen clients…and informally for the last 20 years… is help people get out of their own way.

It’s the best way to describe this new journey I’m on…and my “superpower”… as it were. 

Looking back on my 20’s and 30’s, it all becomes more clear. 

A few times a month for the last two decades… someone will reach out, sometimes a friend or a subcontractor or vendor…sometimes a complete stranger who happened by the blog….

“Can I buy you a beer and pick your brain for a minute?”… 

“Could you hop on a call tomorrow? I want to run something by you.”….

Why me? 

I couldn’t tell you to be honest… but I have ideas. 

More than a few people have called me fearless… a moniker I gladly accept. Since I was young I have never been afraid to take chances, try something new… never afraid to fail…whether it’s in business, relationships, or a new hobby. There is only one way to learn… and that’s to do. 

Recently I posted a question on Facebook…

Almost invariably people chose number 2. Most cited money… many cited kids. 

Looking from the outside, and having spent the last 8 months on hundreds of hours of coaching calls with clients ranging from hospital CEO’s to students…it’s a struggle not to call these excuses, it’s a struggle not to be frustrated, knowing what all of us are capable of…ALL OF US…if we drop the excuse making protection mechanisms that have been drilled into us since birth… 

Knowing that if they really, really, REALLY wanted it… it would happen. 

If we can just get out of our own way…it would happen. 

If we would realize that it’s either a fear of failure, or a fear of success (is this all there is?), that keeps people from ever starting in the first place…. It would happen. 

But… but…. But…..

A mentor of mine used to say people who use the word but usually have a big one… yikes! 

With a big enough why… any how is possible. 

If I’ve learned anything in my short 41 years… it’s that better questions lead to better answers… and better answers lead to a better life… without exception. 

Instead of:

“Why me?”

“Why can’t I do this?”

“Why is life unfair?”

What would happen if we replaced those with:

“Who, in my circumstance, has done this before?”

“What did they do that I’m not doing?”

“Why do I really want this?”

“Who can help me get there?”

“If I eliminated all the common excuses, what is really stopping me?”

“What do I have to give up to get this… and am I really willing?”

Better questions. Better answers. 

Has everyone who’s had a dream, taken a risk, pursued a passion, wanted to start a business, or wanted to take any part of their life to the next level… been childless with no bills, piles of disposable income and an endless support system? 

Give me your why…and I’ll help you get out of your own way…if you’re willing. 

See you on the journey….

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