“Do what you love” …but what if it’s sex?

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”  ―Joseph Campbell

This weekend, Leslie and I took a mountain trip to the Lake Lure Lodge – yes, the same Lake Lure where they filmed Dirty Dancing. What a peaceful place to plop down the laptop and write.

They have a Dirty Dancing Festival every year…if that’s your thing? 

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

How many times have we heard some variation of this? Could it be true? Simply do what you love and the money will follow, right?

But what if you love sex?

Author Penelope Trunk said in her blog, “I am a writer, but I love sex more than I love writing, and I am not getting paid for sex…. But I don’t sit up at night thinking, should I do writing or sex? Because career decisions are not decisions about ‘what do I love most?’ Career decisions are about what kind of life do I want to set up for myself.”

DESIGNING A LIFE

What kind of life do you want to set up for yourself?

In my late 20’s I was fortunate…note I said fortunate…to lose nearly everything in the Great Recession. I was heavily invested in real estate and land in both Charleston, SC and Charlotte, NC. I was also in new home sales at the time.

What could go wrong?

2008. That’s what went wrong.

You likely know the how the story went from there, or maybe even…fortunately?…experienced it for yourself.

Someday I’ll dive deeper into the lessons learned during that time, but in short it taught me 3 important things.

  • Diversification, both in stocks and in life, is more important than you think.
  • Freedom is more important to me than net worth.
  • Enjoying the journey is more important than the destination.

Since 2008, I have designed my life around these three tenets.

When designing your life, what 3 things are most important to you?

BECOMING A HAPPY EXPERT

Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers stresses the 10,000 hour rule. Do anything for 10,000 hours and you will be an expert in the field.

Gladwell explains, “reaching the 10,000-Hour Rule, which is considered the key to success in any field, is simply a matter of practicing a specific task that can be accomplished with 20 hours of work a week for 10 years.”

But wouldn’t it be easier to do something 20 hours a week, and become an expert, if it was something you loved?

The answer is clear.

Success doesn’t lead to happiness, but happiness does contribute to success. Yet most people continue to chase success…whatever that looks like for them…as the primary goal in order to be happy. Why?

If you look at the people who have achieved the highest levels of success in our world, they all have one thing in common: they love what they do.

Sports stars or business leaders – they love what they do so much, that they become experts at it simply because what they are doing, makes them happy.

THE HAPPY LIST

Grab a pen and paper and and write the following at the top: I am happiest when…

Write down whatever comes to mind. Fill the page.

Maybe even go out on a limb and share your top 3 in the comments below…

Chances are, the items you listed are ordinary, every day events. Your list is very likely different from mine, and it should be. I modify and amend my list regularly, but always reference it when making decisions about my life.

Remember, the decisions you are making right now, in this moment, are creating your future reality. Be conscious of what is guiding those decisions. and you are sure to create a life with purpose – your purpose – and that’s all that matters.

As Gary V so eloquently puts it, “you have one fucking life, do something about it!”. You don’t want to end up a Broken Camel after all.

See you on the journey.

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