“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Aristotle
Your Own Drummer
If there is anything I have learned whilst not “following the heard” in this life it’s that there will always be critics.
What I’ve also learned, however, is that the critics, even the harshest among them, likely have no true ill will towards you.
It is within the contrast alone that they find their unease.
Usually these moments present themselves during periods of success…but not always.
Fear of Being Left Behind
Some people are happy when those close to them find success, whatever that means to them. Most however, are not. They are envious and they are jealous…even if unconsciously. And these are natural, human reactions not to be ashamed of.
Even when people aren’t necessarily succeeding but are simply striving, with the contrast, comes the criticisms.
This isn’t because they don’t love you. It’s namely because they are fearful. They fear being left behind.
You have to remember that when you are being criticized by someone close to you for a success, a choice, or an audacious goal you’ve set for yourself, it’s their problem, not yours.
You can’t control what someone thinks about your actions. You can control how you react to them.
Give-Ups and Move-Ups
Recently, I read a great piece of advice: Share your give-up goals with everyone, share your move-up goals with a select few who will support you.
If you’re going to lose weight or quit smoking – scream it from the rooftops. You can rest assured, the next time you go to shove a piece of cake in your mouth, your peer group will call you out on it.
But if you’re going to try and take the next step in your business, change careers, or otherwise make a drastic change – tell only your closest mentors. Preferably those who have done it before.
This bit is important.
When evaluating the weight you are putting on a criticism from someone close, ask yourself, from what point of authority does this person speak?
Everyone has an opinion. Very few know your unique situation and can speak intelligently on it. Even fewer can speak from experience.
Choose wisely who you let inside.
See you on the journey.